Some of you will hate me for this. I know that. But I gotta say it.
It has come to my attention recently that a lot of people really, really love college sports. Just kidding, I always knew that. What I mean is that it has come to my attention recently that I really hate college sports. And maybe that I have some good reasons for feeling that way. Here, in descending order of significance are my six top reasons for unceasing loathing:
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| Do I need to say more? |
6. As a form of entertainment, sports lack substance.
This has more to do with why I dislike sports in general as a spectator, but it also applies to college in special ways. I believe that the media we consume should do something to the mind as well as the emotions. Works of entertainment-based art that appeal only to primitive instinct and offer no intellectual stimulation tend to be decidedly lacking. But wait, what about sitcoms? Or pop music, you say? The best pop artists always have an agenda that is shrouded in metaphor (Madonna, Beyoncé, etc.). The best sitcoms probe the depths of the human condition while also being funny (Frasier, Friends, etc.). Sports don't do that. They appeal only to our primitive, barbaric emotional responses. And when we watch sports, we behave like animals.
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| Just sharing some research. Nothing to see here. |
5. The arbitrary nature of the games encourages baseless fanaticism.
Because there is no underlying purpose or aim for sports other than to generate a controlled competitive environment, loyalties ultimately become based on nothing more than proximity. Why do you root for Ohio State? Because you went to school there. Or because you live nearby. That's not a reason to love something... that's like religious fanatics who think their religion is great because their parents did. And we think that's foolish, immature, and shameful, right? Some say that sports events build camaraderie or a sense of community. But I see the opposite of that. They pit schools against one another by creating an artificially heightened sense of loyalty.
4. It takes too damn long.
The average football or basketball game lasts around three hours. Let's think of other things that take around three hours:
- Two Mahler Symphonies
- The Fellowship of the Ring
- 6 to 8 Mozart Symphonies
- An opera
- Cooking Thanksgiving dinner
- Driving about 200 miles
Typically we reserve lengthy activities for things which have high payoff intellectually or physically. Things that we deem too long for their own good, like Wagner, are often ridiculed. Why do we put up with inordinately long sporting events when the payoff is less rewarding than 30 minutes of Ancient Aliens?
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| No glass ceiling here! At USC the ladies major in sophisticated fields of research and discourse. |
3. It's abhorrently, shamelessly, and hopelessly sexist.
I don't think I need to reiterate that popular sports are male dominated. In academia we've worked hard to all but eradicate sexist hiring and admissions in (almost) every field of study. Why are the "flagship" teams that give the university national exposure dominated by men? And why are there NO roles for women in the whole pageant? Oh wait, I guess the ladies can be cheerleaders. Imagine if there were a drama on primetime in which every week there were only male characters and they spent the entire show making references to their masculine strength and occasionally beating each other up. And the female roles were only minor characters, always dressed in miniskirts and only ever said endearing things about the male characters. Oh yeah, there were shows like that. In 1961. Would you take a program like that seriously today? Also, it's three hours long.
2. It distracts from the real values of academia.
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| What are you thinking of right now? The Quidditch team? |
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| "I got a Bachelors of Basketball. Double- majored in chauvinism and barbaria" |
1. It celebrates the triumph of the body over the triumph of the mind.
Maybe this reason is a little idealistic. But I think that as members of academia, as people who have chosen a college education, we have chosen to venerate the mind as a more powerful medium of expression and meaning than the body. The pen is mightier than the sword. Isn't that what we're supposed to believe at college? That's not exactly the vibe I'm getting from the sports teams. I'm getting a lot of sword. And it's not exactly fair to the players either. They often find themselves trapped in an institution that offered them gobs of money to promote the university, but that at the end of the day doesn't actually value what they do. Turns out being on the team is extra-curricular. It doesn't actually help your grades... it usually hurts them. Having a high-visibility sports team at college makes about as much sense as having writing or debate as a main televised event in the Olympics.
And here's some food for thought: the library at MSU closes early on game days. If that doesn't make you squirm a little, then you probably quit reading after #5.
And here's some food for thought: the library at MSU closes early on game days. If that doesn't make you squirm a little, then you probably quit reading after #5.
I know that sports are fun to watch. I get it. I know that it brings people together (as long as they're rooting for the same team, otherwise it makes them violent and confrontational). And I don't think that sports as a part of human culture is actually a bad idea. Our bodies are powerful expressers just like our minds, and can be seen as a crowning human achievement. Pro sports are one thing—they're not pretending to be something they're not. They are a form of commercial entertainment where values are internally consistent and the ends supposedly justify the means. College sports are something else. It doesn't make any sense to insert them into an institution that has worked so hard to promote equality and education.
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ReplyDeleteBrilliant! And spot on. I was in a sports ethics (philosophy) course in undergrad. We had to do research, of course, and it turns out aggressive behavior, fostered by college sport, actually increases aggression in the participants rather than decreasing or providing some sort of outlet so that they'll otherwise be pacified. It's perhaps not the sort of thing we want to increase in citizens, let alone college students who commit or are victimized by high numbers of sexual assault already.
ReplyDeleteIt will come as no surprise to you that I've long harbored these thoughts/okay, fine, you and I have actually talked about them. Imagine my frustration working as a Telefunder for my school only to come across countless alums who refused to donate because our football team wasn't doing well that season or because the games weren't being broadcast to a channel they received. I guess it doesn't really matter that their actual education at this institution enriched their minds and helped them to rise in their careers as lawyers, doctors, and prominent businessmen; their interest in the university is pigskin.
ReplyDeleteIf that doesn't speak to our culture's decadence, I don't know what does. Thanks for giving voice to these frustrations!
Hopefully this doesn't come across as an attack on you personally. If it does, sorry, it wasn't meant that way. I agree with a couple of your points, but most of them I don't. Here goes nothing.
ReplyDelete6. This point just screams: "I've never played or watched a game in my entire life." If you put half as much thought as you do analysing an episode of Friends, you'd realize there is a tremendous amount of strategy that requires constant analysis of everything that's taking place in a game.
5. This is just ridiculous. If a person engages in activities like you have in the picture, you can't blame sports for that. That's just as bad as blaming video games for violence. People need to take accountability for their actions. Stop using sports as a scapegoat.
4. It takes too long because you don't enjoy or appreciate sports. To me, sometimes games are too short. Should I also point out some of the mindless activities you listed? Watching LOTR? Movies are mind numbing. If you want something thought provoking, read the book. Driving for 200 miles? Can't think of anything that puts me to sleep faster. I've driven home and had absolutely no recollection of the drive along the way. It's as if my brain was on auto-pilot. Some of these may be thought provoking to you, but that doesn't mean they are for everyone.
3. I'm not a big fan of having cheerleaders at games either. Sometimes I feel embarrassed for them. I'm not sure about America, but in Canada, women can play any sport a man can. The men draw more attention because they're generally more skilled (faster, stronger etc.), but I hardly see how that's sexist. That's just reality.
2. I can actually say I agree with you here. I'm not sure how sports got tied in with academia in America. We have college sports in Canada, but no where near to the same degree. Our semi-pro leagues are kept separate from school.
1. This reason is idealistic. People go to school because they're told to go to college to get a high paying job. Most people aren't going because they have a passion for learning.
For some reason, you've now decided to say that pro sports are an entirely different beast. College sports are pro sports, and college unfortunately is a business. Stop acting like its sole duty is to further human knowledge, it's too idealistic.
Colleges are there to turn a profit. Sports are its way of mass marketing. That's why so much effort is put into having a good team. A good team means a better chance of success, which means a longer time in the playoffs, which leaders to a greater amount of time on TV in the spotlight. This leads to more people wanting to go to this school, which leads to more money. Pretty simple.
#6. My point here is that sports doesn't have a narrative structure, and isn't designed to have an agenda or a "purpose," if you will, the way dramas or music or other kinds of entertainment do. Sports are pretty spontaneous. Sure, there's strategy, but you can't compare what a quarterback does to what a screenwriter does. They're really not comparable, ESPECIALLY when it comes to how the audience perceives the event.
Delete#5. This is specifically in relation to college. I actually don't have a problem with people rioting over pro sports. People will riot for whatever reason they want. But this kind of animosity has no place in academia where we're supposed to be fostering a safe, supportive environment which values the sharing of knowledge.
Again, my point with #4 is linked directly with #6. If you see tremendous intellectual OR PRACTICAL (what I was getting at with driving or cooking) benefits to watching sports, then go right ahead. I haven't seen much evidence of that. Seems like sports is mostly entertainment for the sake of it.
#3 "That's just reality" is not a justification. That kind of attitude only encourages the status quo to remain. The point of this post is to call for change...
#1 Yes, I said it was idealistic. I happen to be an idealist. I also am an academic, and not because I want to make money (contrary to your perception there is very little money in academia). I actually DO believe that the sole duty of college is to further human knowledge. I know that a lot of universities have lost sight of that. I don't think sports is only a symptom, I think it's part of the disease.
Quidditch Rules! But really. I concur.
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